Today's column, which he may or may not have written on a blackberry, concerns Sheryl Swoopes, the WNBA star who came out in an ESPN Magazine article this week.

Stephen A.'s article today takes a different article that the "In other news, a baby was born today" jokes we've all been making the past 24 hours. It begins:

Sheryl Swoopes may be the story. But she is not the issue.

Not now. Not in this day and time. And especially not when an absence of professional ethics is so abundantly clear regarding Swoopes' partner, Alisa Scott, instead of her.

Woah! Wait, guh-wha?

Okay, we get it, Stephen A. You only write sparingly, so your column can't just be about Swoopes. Got it. Down with that, actually. I mean, if you're the big-shot columnist you have to be different. But the coaching ethics of her girlfriend? Is that really what the people want to read about?

I'm not even sure what the issue is here, yet. If you're going to write about a tangential issue to the big story -- and even claim it's bigger than the main story -- please explain what it is before the jump.

Swoopes' public acknowledgment of her lesbianism this week may not be welcomed or appreciated by the public at large, but the fact remains that she has a right to live her life the way she chooses.

If she wants to hug and kiss her partner in public, that's fine with me. Feel free to waste time debating how her relationship will affect her 8-year-old son, Jordan, or the WNBA, which can't possibly be happy with the headlines it is receiving.

How it will affect Michael Jordan? Do we reall--oh, oh, that's her son's name. I get it. Also, I wonder if Stephen A. called somebody at the WNBA (or NBA commish David Stern) to ask them how they feel?

But there are certain things that should never be debated or embraced, even in a day when supposedly 5 to 10 percent of the population is thought to be gay. Such a harsh sentiment should always be deemed appropriate when it is discovered that a player's coach also happens to be her lover.

Few people know much about Scott. According to Swoopes, she had never thought about another woman, never dreamed of being with another woman. At least not until her coach came into her life.

Now, far be it for me to wax eloquent over the sanctimonious arena of professional ethics. But if someone - anyone - even thinks of hiring Scott after Swoopes' coming-out party, an investigation should begin. Immediately.

Guh? What? Oh, oh, I get it. Stephen A. is mad because Scott used to be Swoopes' assistant coach. And coaches aren't supposed to have sex with players, let alone lesbian sex with players. I'm waiting for Stephen A.'s column on ex-national teamer Danielle Fotopoulos and her ex-coach husband.

Okay, so Swoopes and Scott has a secret relationship with she was an assistant coach. I guess that crosses the ethical line.

It's one thing if Swoopes were representing a team different from Scott's. It would be an entirely different situation if both were players. But Scott was an assistant coach on Van Chancellor's staff for the Houston Comets, supposedly a liaison between the head coach and the players, in a position of authority and influence.

As usual, the hype and hoopla supersede substance because we're all focusing on Swoopes. In the aftermath of her announcement, nobody's thinking about how Larry Eustachy got fired after being seen in pictures drinking and partying with students; how Mike Price lost the Alabama job for being inside a strip club; or the litany of other issues a male coach would be fired for in a split second.

That's college, not the pros. But that logic reeks of stupidity and convenient ignorance. When it comes to authority and influence, people should always be held accountable.

Let's open up our Stephen A. Moral Equivalence Scale here:

Drinking and partying with students = Being inside a strip club = Having a lesbian affair with a coach

Far be it from me to criticize any of those three activities. But something tells me a college coach drinking with students is a little different.

Also, I haven't done much research, but a female ex-soccer player friend I just e-mail responded to my "Don't women's soccer players marry their coaches a lot?" with "Yes. And I would say with some frequency."

I've now done the same amount of research as Stephen A. did for this column. (Ba-ZING!)

The appearance of impropriety, of compromising one's position and organization, is flagrant where Scott is concerned. And for those who dismiss Swoopes' five-time all-star status and her credentials as a three-time Olympic gold medalist, recognize that that has nothing to do with this issue.

"Homophobia in women's sports is huge," Pat Griffin, professor emeritus at the University of Massachusetts, said on my ESPN2 show, Quite Frankly.

I know, we haven't done much psychoanalysis here. That may be because I'm not quite sure what psychoanalysis is. But I can tell you this: the last sentence of the above selection is code for: "Oh my god, nobody's watching my show, I better plug it! QUITE FRANKLY WITH STEPHEN A. SMITH!"

"I think it's a reflection of a larger cultural issue," Griffin said. "There's a lot of misinformation out there. One of the things that's important about Sheryl Swoopes' coming out is... the more we have real lesbians out in the open about who they are, the more of a position we're in to deflate the level of skepticism, the amount of misconceptions, that exists out there about us."

That may be true.

It's also completely irrelevant.

Swoopes is not the issue. Scott is.

Scott was an assistant coach in Houston for seven years before resigning her post months ago. Were it not for their relationship, she may not have had any clout with Swoopes. But what about the rest of her less-than-marquee-caliber teammates?

Does everyone on the Houston Comets love Swoopes? If so, how did the Comets feel about Scott? Was locker-room talk kept in-house? How about what went on in Chancellor's office?

Oh, gee, I dunno, Stephen A., you're a reporter, how about you ask some people? People don't want to talk about it? Great. You're one of the biggest names in sports reporting. Keep digging at it. People will give you access. I know you're busy with Quite Frankly and all, but make some calls.

Stephen A.'s column is so far the equivalent of a City Hall reporter writing, "Wow, there was a bug in the mayor's office. Do you think that's important? I wonder if anybody will find out!"

The list of questions can go on and on.

Assuming that Scott's resignation was forced, that's the only answer that should matter.

Considering an NBC and USA Network survey that showed that 24 percent of respondents believed an openly gay athlete would hurt a team, that 68 percent believed it would hurt an athlete's career to be openly gay, Swoopes' in-the-closet behavior is perfectly understandable. The same doesn't apply to Scott.

Wait, what? Coaches can't have their sexuality private? Shit, I better go tell my dad, who coaches a youth soccer team, that he needs to tell his kids before every practice he has a wife and a kid. And that he likes woman.

I'm also so confused. What answer? What forced resignation? What am I reading here?

Coaches are held to a higher standard. Last checked, males don't monopolize that credo.

I could get into the negative effect this whole issue could end up having on the WNBA, which was doing everything in its power to disassociate itself from the homosexual label on its sport for years.

Then again, what sense would that make?

Okay, we get it, a coach had an affair with a player, and if this was a male-female thing, people would be more up in arms. This is like when the "liberal media" argument is made in a newspaper: "Oh wah wah wah nobody's covering this wah wah wah." Hello? You are part of the media, how about trying to change something if you're upset other than just whining about it?

Hey, Stephen A., you're a journalist, how about you do some, I dunno, journaling? Did it have a negative affect on the team? What do the other players think about it? Don't just complain that the media is focusing on two women gettin' it on.

When a coach violates issues of protocol, ethics and professional decency, what could possibly be said to a player?

Especially Swoopes, who is guilty of nothing but being honest. And trying to be happy.

Jesus. We now know that Stephen A. has never gotten it on with Inky Sports Editor Jim Jenks. Since he's so big on avoiding conduct violations. I hold my sports columnists up to high scrutiny, you know?

This concludes our first experiment, even if there wasn't much analyzing. Ah, well. We'll try better next time.

Stephen A. Smith | Partner of Swoopes crossed coaching line [Inky]